Avoid Empty Nest Addiction

Parents of adult children will one day experience the day when all of their children move on from their home and create their own lives. While this is a momentous milestone for both parents and their children, it can also be a difficult transition for some parents. Though “empty nest syndrome” is not an official diagnosis, it’s a common phenomenon that can lead some parents to feel depressed, isolated, and empty. Since addiction and mental health often go hand-in-hand, those who are struggling with these changes can turn to substance use to cope with their feelings. If you find yourself worrying about how you will one day handle your children’s leaving the nest, it’s essential to read about the dangers of empty nest syndrome and how prevalent it is among parents everywhere, potentially leading to what some might term empty nest addiction.

Empty Nest Syndrome

This syndrome isn’t an actual clinical diagnosis, but it has been used casually among psychologists and psychotherapists since the 1970s when it was first researched, though its origins date back to 1914. The feelings associated with this syndrome have been known to most significantly impact stay-at-home and single mothers, but are not limited to these circumstances. Most parents are proud they were able to raise independent and successful children who are ready to march out into life, but at the same time, the primary focus of their lives is now leaving, making room for a lot of extra time alone.

Raising a child for almost two decades has filled your home with laughter, tears, and memories that will last a lifetime. The bond between parents and children is irreplaceable, but at some point, parents must see their children grow up and live independently. Whether they are off to college or are moving into their own space to start their own family, this will bring about a considerable change in your household. Thinking back to all those times you couldn’t wait for them to move out to get some peace suddenly comes rushing into your memory and can leave you feeling upset and uncertain. While much of this is worry about how they will do on their own, whether they will be safe and have enough to eat, another part of the sudden sadness is because the home they grew up in will no longer be filled with the same kind of life and activity it once was.

Substance Use and Empty Nests

When isolation creeps in, some parents find themselves searching for something to soothe these feelings that are often accompanied by anxiety and sadness. Parents lack things to do since they no longer tend to children, and there is an empty chair at the dinner table. These constant reminders can be particularly haunting for retired parents or those who work from home. For some, not seeing their children every day once they’ve left can be difficult to accept, leading them to search for something to dull their pain. Some may grab a bottle of wine, but others may have prescription medication available to them that can quickly soothe their woes, but is dangerously addictive. These methods of dealing with pain come with a high risk of developing substance use disorder if not recognized and dealt with in the early stages. This is a critical point where the risk of empty nest addiction can become a serious concern.

A segment of the parent population that may experience this syndrome differently than most are those who have strained relationships with their children who have left home. Regardless of the specifics of the animosity between parent and child, these situations can instill feelings of regret, guilt, and emotional hardship. Parents often feel they are about to lose their last lifeline to remedy the relationship now that they are no longer under the same roof. These people may also go through the grieving process during their empty nest experience, making them more susceptible to substance use to escape their reality. The potential for empty nest addiction in these circumstances is significant.

Self-medication isn’t unique to empty nest syndrome; it’s a common coping mechanism for people with mental health issues like depression, but also those with marital problems or life stressors. This has caused a recent resurgence of research about empty nest syndrome, looking to classify it more specifically as it aligns mostly with other common mental health illnesses. By being able to identify that someone with these empty nest feelings is actually suffering from generalized anxiety and depression, doctors are better able to treat patients before they are left to their own devices, possibly involving the misuse of substances and the development of an empty nest addiction.

Tips for Overcoming Empty Nest Syndrome

Travel: Get out of town! Go see some new places, make some new friends, and create some memories to share with your children.
Make plans: Set aside dates to visit with your children. It will give you something to look forward to and help keep you in touch.
Mend ties: If your relationship with your children has previously been strained, it can be impactful to reach out once they’ve left and matured and see life from a new perspective.
Start a new hobby: With all this time to yourself, you can learn a new language, pick up yoga, or attend events you never had time for previously.
Practice self-care. Parenting can run you ragged without you even noticing. It’s never too late to get in shape, pamper yourself, or get a new look.
Consider downsizing: Moving is a big step, but it might be a wise choice if you feel you have “too much house” around you.
Rekindle your love life: Married or not, it’s time to ramp up the romance and enjoy some time alone with your significant other. If you’re single, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there!
Redecorate: If moving isn’t in your plans, spruce up the house and make those changes you’ve always envisioned.
Talk: Even if you’re handling things just fine, don’t be afraid to consult a therapist to discuss this new phase of life.
Socialize: New and old friends can revitalize your day-to-day and remove you from isolation.

Interestingly, many empty nests are now being refilled with millennial children opting to live back at home due to cost-of-living and wage disparity in many places around the US, along with delaying marriage, student debt, and pursuing higher education.

If you think you are dealing with empty nest syndrome, you don’t have to go alone. With the help of medical professionals, there are discreet, effective, and proven methods to deal with both the psychological aspects of your feelings as well as the substance use you may be exhibiting. Recognizing the signs of potential empty nest addiction is the first step toward recovery. There is hope and much more to live for, especially for your children and their future children.

Don’t Let Empty Nest Syndrome Lead to Addiction.

If you or a loved one is struggling with feelings of emptiness, isolation, or substance use related to your children leaving home, AppleGate Recovery is here to help. We offer confidential, effective treatment options to address both the emotional challenges of empty nest syndrome and the potential for empty nest addiction.

Take the courageous step towards healing and a healthier future. Contact the nearest AppleGate Recovery to schedule a confidential consultation.